Is My Relationship Unhealthy?
I’m not sure if this is a secret, but we therapists are inherently flawed human beings. We are constantly trying to work on ourselves to be better for our clients, ourselves, and our loved ones.
Being a human, a therapist, and a fiance, I found myself lost in thought one day. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was in a healthy relationship. Of course, me having crippling anxiety I realized that of course, it was healthy because we both try so hard every day to show up for each other. But then I realized something, if I was questioning my relationship as a therapist than other people had to be wondering the same thing about their relationships.
Today, I want to try and answer the question, what does a healthy relationship look like? I’ve identified some relationship green flags as well as some red flags to better help you understand what changes you could be making in your relationship.
Green Flags
Effective Communication: Partners openly discuss their feelings, needs, and concerns with each other. They listen actively, validate each other's emotions, and work together to resolve conflicts constructively.
Trust and Transparency: There is mutual trust and honesty between partners. They feel comfortable being vulnerable and sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or betrayal.
Equality and Partnership: The relationship is built on a foundation of equality, where decisions are made collaboratively, and both partners contribute equally to the relationship's dynamics, responsibilities, and compromises.
Shared Values and Goals: There is alignment in core values, beliefs, and life goals between partners. They have a sense of direction and purpose together, and they support each other in pursuing their shared aspirations and dreams.
Respect and Support: Both partners respect each other's boundaries, opinions, and individuality. They support each other's goals, aspirations, and personal growth, and they celebrate each other's successes.
Relationship Red Flags
Lack of Communication: Communication breakdowns or an unwillingness to discuss important topics can lead to misunderstandings and unresolved issues.
Jealousy and Possessiveness: Excessive jealousy, controlling behavior, or possessiveness can indicate insecurity and lack of trust, which can be damaging to the relationship
Disrespect and Contempt: If one partner consistently belittles, criticizes, or demeans the other, it can erode self-esteem and lead to resentment and unhappiness.
Lack of Boundaries: Failure to respect each other's boundaries, whether physical, emotional, or personal, can lead to feelings of invasion or discomfort.
Manipulative Behavior: Manipulative tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing mind games can undermine trust and emotional stability in the relationship.
Constant Conflict: While conflict is a normal part of any relationship, constant arguing, hostility, or unresolved tension can indicate deeper issues that need to be addressed.
Conclusion
Ultimately, relationships are tough. Really fucking tough. Sometimes they take back breaking work and can not feel worth it. It is important to remember that we are all deserving of healthy and respectful love.
