How to Survive the Holidays
Introduction
The holidays were and have always been a hard time for me. As a child I felt very alone in this, now as an adult, I have enough understanding to know that many others feel as I do.
Every Thanksgiving when I was growing up my father would pack us up and drive the two hours to my grandparents. During this time I would feel my body tense with anxiety, not fully understanding why or how to deal with it. That day we would proceed with Thanksgiving followed by a “fake Christmas” as I came to dub it. My Grandparents would embark on their annual journey to Florida making it so we would have always to celebrate two holidays in one.
I never understood it. I never understood the anger and frustration I would feel on that day or even begin to fathom how to deal with it. I didn’t know how to deal with it until many years later when I started to embark on my therapeutic journey.
Oftentimes we let the holidays get the best of us, after leaving us feeling drained and feeling like we need a vacation from our vacation. Today I want to offer some tips and tricks to get through the holidays that I think could be useful for many of us:
Boundaries
Have open and honest discussions with family members about your boundaries and expectations for the holiday season. Let your family know what will work for you and what will not.
Consider compromises that work for everyone involved. Ex. Meeting at Noon instead of the morning to have a restful and self-care-filled morning
Establish a budget for holiday spending and stick to it. ($50 spend cap anyone?)
Consider alternatives to expensive gift-giving, such as homemade gifts or a gift exchange.
Prioritize events and gatherings based on your energy levels and personal priorities.
Learn to say no when necessary to avoid over-committing.
Self-Care
Make sure to stick to your routine. When we have time off it can often lead to things feeling unregulated
Practice good sleep hygiene, are you getting enough sleep? Is your room dark enough, the right temperature etc.
Allow yourself time for relaxation and activities you enjoy
Set realistic expectations: Manage your expectations and recognize that not everything has to be perfect. YOU don’t have to be perfect, for anyone, including your family
Set achievable goals and prioritize tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Take time to yourself, schedule alone time to reflect and recharge
Conclusion
Ultimately, it’s not selfish to choose yourself in moments that can lead to dysregulation, anxiety, and frustration. It’s not selfish to ask for what you need. In a time where we’re supposed to be giving I invite you to give to yourself in addition to your loved ones. If you enjoyed today’s blog or require support I encourage you to reach out to the therapists of Guiding Kindness Therapy for support.
